Saturday, January 15, 2005
(warning: depressing content. if in a good mood, skip this paragraph) some memorial mass. where are all the catholics in singapore man?! the pathetic attendance in church today for the solidarity mass in memory of the victims of the tsunami really shocked me. it's not as if our congregation is small or anything. it's quite big for a catholic church actually. but where was everyone man? just because it's not the obligatory saturday or sunday mass. just because it's not a celebratory occassion. so it's okay to selfishly carry out your daily routine, without sparing an hour to attend mass and immerse yourself in thinking about all the unfortunate victims who need our prayers urgently? it's so sad. this predicament catholicism in singapore is in. we used to be such a boisterous, active community. now, all anyone ever thinks about is himself. is it so hard to skip one episode of a chinese serial to come and pray? is it so hard to postpone a date to join the church and raise our voices for the victims as one family? it is during times like this that we should come together and help the needy people. poor, starving, orphaned, dying, homeless victims of one of the biggest natural catastrophes we've ever faced. over 150,000 of them. but few have stepped forward to offer their help. and it's always the same few. what are the rest? passive churchgoers? people who come to church for the wrong reasons? have i mentioned that i feel utter disgust at people who come to church for the wrong reasons? well i do. i really do. i hate it that they show disrespect for my god, the almighty one, by coming to church dressed like... that. i hate it that they do not lift even a finger to contribute to our community, our society, in any way for fear of chipping a perfectly manicured nail. i hate the way they preach and quote from the bible without understanding the scriptures at all. without grasping that simple concept ever-present in the bible of serving god with all that we are. i hate it all. and i hate the fact that the people in church can declare themselves god's people when, in moments like these, they can't even lift up their hearts to the lord by serving his other children. and most of all, i hate the fact that my family is growing to become more and more like that. my mum and dad work late into night packing boxes of medicine and typing out lists for the missionaries to bring to disaster areas after a taxing day at the clinic. but me, i fall asleep at the computer when i'm supposed to be helping them check the lists of medication. mummy packs the boxes of medicine from her clinic alone. all 75 of them. and when she asks my second brother for help to move the heavy boxes, he gets too caught up playing one of his mindless computer games and forgets, leaving mum to do it all by herself. dad has to call pharmacies, liase with contacts in the tsunami-struck areas and prepare trip details for the missionary nuns going there. and he has to return home to screaming, fighting children, adding to his workload. today only me and my 6th brother attended the mass. i feel so ashamed. my mum had to cook dinner for my corcor's birthday, but i mean she could've left it to the maids. ohwell i guess she wanted to make his birthday dinner perfect. my second corcor, as usual, too bloody self-preoccupied to even notice that there is actually a world outside all his cs, gunbound, frivolous computer games. corcor went back to rj for... dunno what. but what could've been more important than praying?! my 7th and 8th brother were not allowed to go for fear that they would get restless and start making noise. but what really really made me cry was the incident after mass. my dad came to join us during mass, late, because he had to fetch my sis, my 4th brother and corcor from school(s). mass ended about half an hour later. when we got intot he car i was surprised to see the three of them stoning there when they could've come in to offer their prayers to the lord too. but maybe they were tired. then, my 4th brother (who had just returned from camp) said something that made me want to slap him. "wad's your problem man. if u want to come for some useless service then can't you go home yourself? why must daddy come too?!" i didn't say anything. i couldn't say anything. i just wanted to slap him so hard that some braincells would be knocked into that airhead of his. luckily my corcor and sister aren't like that. and during the car ride home, he kept "tsk-ing" and shifting around in his seat as though he was so tired and irritated that he had to wait for us. it's so painful to see your own sibling acting like that. the hurt i felt at his total lack of humanity was so... excruciating. god, what has happened to all of us man. i really really wanna help. but what can i do man. besides packing medicine into boxes and typing out checklists (which i can't even do without falling asleep). damn this is depressing.
SO PEOPLE PLEASE OFFER YOUR HELP. THE VICTIMS REALLY REALLY NEED IT. AND PRAY THAT THE LORD PROTECTS THEM TOO.
happy birthday to my corcor! he turned (sweet?) nineteen today. he should be at army shouldn't he?! but too bad for him his time only starts in april (due to some medical condition or sth). i bought him a nice red shirt from topman thanks to bel and her resourcefulness. good job bel! but anyhow,he's a great corcor. and a funny one too. and although he seems like a daokia, he's actually a really nice, retarded, little gay loser. and i love him for that. i hope he has a great 19th year ahead of him =)
we, the softballers, had lunch at FIVE today? (oh, which reminds me... WELCOME TO THE FAMILY KAHWEI! WE REALLY LOVE YOU KAHWEI!) we trained by ourselves today. actually we wanted to pitch under coach's supervision but he came even later than the rj team so we decided to do our own stuff first. ruoqi i'm telling you the non-windmill is better than the windmill! c'mon! faster and more accurate lorh! we met up with the seniors who had come back to train with the rj team. it was great seeing them again. especially fadzie and... TINGZIE. gawd i haven't spoken to her in like.. how long man! but glad to say, she still has that streak of retardation in her. however, today was not about them. it's about us. our batch. we had such an unbelievably wonderful time today! discussing the potential softball videos/movies. HAHA. it all started in assembly when miss ko was talking about our class videos. obviously my mind drifted to the softballers. so right after assembly i found xianhui and we started discussing the probabilities of a softball video tribute (yah right. a tribute to ourselves haha) and we bumped into ruoqi and jem (who were in an intense discussion) along the way. they were discussing making a softball video too! (surprise surprise? nah.) so during RS ruoqi and i told bel all about the great plan. resh and gee joined us coz miss tong wasn't around yet. ruoqi, obviously, wanted a softball movie where we act as the characters from harry potter. and she, obviously, wanted to be ron. not that she has thhe hugest of crushes on him. but i had a different plan. notice how the other non-softball sec 4s always comment on how ruoqi bel and i look alike? well.. we could be fluffy the three headed dog! and resh, if u untie her plait, has the burgeoning hair of hermoine granger. xianhui would definitely be cho chang (for duh reasons) and angela be ginny (for equally duh reasons). puffy, with her blurness would be the perfect ronweasley and emerald... HAHA... nevillelongbottom. jem (for some strange reasoning by ruoqi) is slated to be filch (haha dun kill me jem it was ruoqi's idea) and kahwei with that oh-so-mischievous grin of hers would be peeves the troublesome ghost. harrypotter, then, is obviously ellenkan. and she is harrypotter, personified. but we had so much fun discussing retarded things during RS. we really did. ohmygoodness i never laugh so much with anyone else but the softballers. i absolutely adore them man! absolutely!
so we had training before RJ came to take over our field. we were all slightly off today. must be the one-o-clock heat right? (yeah blame it all on the weather) we were so engaged in our training that none of us realised that it was four already. and we hadn't had lunch yet! so we quickly polished off the last few pitches and got ready to leave. but u know us. "eh let's go!" "yah ok wait arh. change first." after another five minutes... "wahlao i'm damn hungry lah!" "me too!" "okok coming. needa fill my water bottle." wait another five minutes... "OI! GO NOW LAH!" "yahyah let's go! oh no! let me put my shoebag in the cupboard" after YET ANOTHER five minutes... "eh c'mon man. want to go or not?" "FASTER LAH U GUYS" "okay! i'm ready! shit my boots are still on".... and blahblahblah. so by the time we reached subway (with a vehemently objecting angela) it was already close to five. at first it was pretty quiet and polite. yah. if u can believe it man. but u know... softballers can't stay quiet for long. we were soon working those jaw muscles again after the eternally conversation-sparking "erm... can we talk about softball please?" request. we talked and talked.. and never stopped. lunch was a blast. everyone was cracking jokes like nobody's business and laughing at the most unfunny of jokes (courtesy of r***ongkahwei). haha we forced jem to do her walrus cry (or was it supposed to be a laugh?) and the laughter that exploded from us in the aftermath almost caused the fire alarm to sound. it started when bel and i decided to start comparing whose mouth is bigger. again. (i won hands.. erm.. mouths.. down bytheway) but the looks on our faces was totally retarded. resh said that my mouth took up half my face. and ruoqi tried to fit the cup into my mouth. so we burst out laughing. again. kahwei tried to make me mute my 'psychotic' laughter by putting the paper cup over my mouth. stulugupiligid giligirl! it amplified the sound. making me sound like an asthmatic hippopotamus. that was when we coerced jem into doing her walrus cry. i tell u it was so funny i laughed until my ribcage cracked. especially in the quiet suburbs of subway. ruoqi laughed so hard that the piece of ice in her mouth dropped out. which caused reshvinder to laugh so hard that she banged her whole head/hands damn hard on the table. which caused the piece of ice that dropped out of ruoqi's mouth onto the table to fly to the table next to ours. needless to say, we evacuated soon after that. up till now, i dunno if the beng in the table next to us realised that there was an ice cube melting away slowly and dissolving that expensive gel in his spiked hair. i think subway can expect a few days of no-show from us. starting now. but anyway, to summarize, lunch was reallyreally stupendouslyridiculously hilarious and i'm totally in love with my crazy teammates! i am i am!
ohwell many other funny things happened today but i think that this entry is long enough. flag day with my softballies tomorrow! no, technically, today!!!!!! YAY! i LOVE spending time with them man. they rock my world. and i know that i'll never be alone. because this great buncha sisters will always love each other. always. damn. my dedications. NEXT ENTRY I REALLY PROMISE.
a very, very happy deb =)
p.s. I LOVE THE SEC 4 RG SOFTBALLERS! have i said that before?
retardebel 1:32 AM