have u ever had THAT feeling? like u really regret doing/not doing something. like u're slowly sinking into the abyss and there's no way out. like u wish u could turn back time so that u can put it right again. like... like... u want to hide from the world in that little corner of yours. like u reallyreallyREALLY regret doing/not doing something. well that's how i'm feeling right now. WHY DIDN'T I PUT SUNBLOCK?!!! now i'm burnt. now i'm peeling. now i'm suffering. i saw it coming i really did. i had 3 years of experience! every year during the aftermath of src, i return a lobster. a cooked lobster at that. a fresh, bright red one. and every year i swear to put sunblock the next year. but do i ever listen? NOOOO. now then i regret. too late ain't it. go on xianhui, laugh at me. mock me. stick your hand down my throat and dig out every ounce of dignity i have. for i am sunburnt.
but that's not the worst part. scorching sun, i can stand. humiliation of being chowtah, i can stand. src is over... now that's the most heartwrenching part. honest to goodness, this was the bestest src i've ever had. and it's so special because my teammates made it so. the only memories i have of the previous years' src are erm... tearing (due to the reflection of bat into my eyes), crying (again due to reflection), and more crying (this time coz ruoqi bullied me). but this year's src. now this is what i call ultimate. coach was the bomb. teammates were the bombs. matches were potential bombs. and i didn't even cry! the retarded one down, two down steps adapted from farish and personalized by xh and me... now that's something to remember. the hongkie dance and hongkie song again created by xh and me... now that's something that everyone will definitely remember. (i dun care resh and ellen. u guys better bloody well do it!) the stories coach told us under the setting sun. yes, it will be remembered. the pain in coach's voice when he told us that he couldn't sleep coz we lost. u don't remember, u die. his quiet joy and pride at seeing us come from behind time and again to take the game. now that's something very rememberable. those games where we never gave up when we were down, and played with hearts of true rafflesians. how could we not remember. the silver. rather, the gold we lost by one run. how we really needed coach to be there to guide us, but he couldn't. the gold we lost fighting on our own. hmm, do i have a choice but to remember?
seeing ruoqi slam the strikes in one by one, giving the other teams no chance. i will remember.
seeing resh stretch, bend, fold, split, wadeva, just to get that wild throw. i will remember.
seeing bel never give up, making those nice clean stops. i will remember.
seeing jem move on the field with such grace and elegance, making those wonderful stops throws and tags. i will remember.
seeing ellen play with the courage of a panther wherever she's put and getting those bunters out. i will remember.
seeing nicola step up to the task when we really needed her to. i will remember.
seeing christin inspire all of us when we were down, starting the ball flying. i will remember.
seeing xianhui hobble about on that ankle and yet never failing to catch that odd flyball or cover that overthrow. i will remember.
seeing (or rather, hearing) gee taunting on the field, catching those flyballs, playing like a little chilli padi. i will remember.
seeing gen running like the wind in leftfield (and hearing that "WRONG SIDE OF THE FIEEEELD BATTER!"). i WILL remember.
the relentless support the juniors lent us. i will remember.
how coach never at any time gave up on us (his team is the BEST -with thumbs up sign- remember?). yes i remember!
our seniors cheering their hearts out for us and coming down to support matches. i will remember.
how special this src is. i will remember.
but i won't harp on it. no i won't. it's over man. as much as ruoqi resh xh bel gee and i, taking teeny bites to prolong our last dinner at foodjunction, sitting on the mrt steps pretending like everything's new and exciting (like the stars we suddenly discovered on the ceiling), reliving the matches as though we were gonna come back to src as a team again, try to deceive ourselves, src is over. our last src as rgs softballers is over. our last src as a team, as a batch is over. this is probably the last src we'll play together. and it sucks real bad. the worst part is, you don't feel the full impact of it until it's over. u wish u had treasured that very last inning we played together. u wish u had treasured the feeling of running on the well-maintained grass. u wish u had stayed back to watch the sun set on the field, on the theatre of our dreams. so many thing u wish u had done but will now never get the chance to do. i guess it's the same for everything else this year. our last founder's day. our last teacher's day. our last racial harmony day. our last shot at winning the title... it's gonna be so horrible to leave rgs. it's not even halfway through the year and i'm missing it already. the only comfort is that at least we know where we'll be going after we leave. not that where we're going is anything to be comforted about.
oh this is so serious! so un-deborah! oh yah before i move on, i would like to recommend a blog. poonie's blog. i'm sure by now everyone has heard a thing or two about the escapades of poonie. well her blog is equally as entertaining. whenever u feel sad or lonely or frustrated or down, go read poonie's blog. it's such a comfort to know that there's someone else out there who has even less of a life than you do.
today was whoolala! science centre trip was so much more fun than i had expected. this morning i was dreaming of being mrs clay aiken when i was rudely awoken by the vibration of my handphone. and nothing more rudely awakes than reshvinderkaur. geez. hearing her piercing voice, PIERCING voice through the receiver: "DEB!!!!! OMIGOSH DO U KNOW WAD TIIIIME IT ISSSSS?! SEVEEEEN! wake up NOOOOOOOWWWW! AAAAAHHHH!" goodness. i woke up from my beautiful dream and walked straight into a nightmare. so anyhow i jumped out of bed, bathed, brushed my teeth, packed my bag, looked for my softball glove, extorted money from my parents and hopped onto the mrt. and i still reached the science centre way before resh (who was already out of my house when she decided to interrupt me during my dream dinner date with clay). hmm. so the first thing we had was a talk on natural disasters/phenomena/occurences. it was helluva interesting. i got a nice science centre badge coz i shouted "earthquakes!" when they were asking for examples of forces of nature. i felt pretty dandy about it. resh was jealous coz she wanted a science centre badge too. after that we had free time, which me quek sinyee christine charissa nicole and kums decided to more wisely spend examining the effects of macdonalds breakfast going down our tummies instead of viewing the exhibits. needless to say we had a good fulfilling humourous talk about (with nicole there, what else) the red guy. after that we headed over to the lesson on energy. the demonstrations were SO AMAZING! my goodness! electricity is the IN THING man! sadly i didn't get to see the little spark produced by the hand generator because bernice conveniently chose that time to sms me with the most headline worthy news: she's in a****'s og. wooooow. so i was so happy for her that i forgot to focus on the area below the coil where the spark was supposed to be produced. anyhow i volunteered resh for one of the experiments. i was SHOUTING for her across the room to volunteer for the human generator experiment because you can see the person's hair stand. but that stupiud pok refused and nicole was demonstrated on anyway. u could really see her hair STAND man. sigh how much better would it have been if resh had gone man! she could've untied her plait and vavavooom! now that's a hair-raising sight i'd love to see. so i volunteered her for the other experiment where two students had to touch the human generator student e.t.-esque and see if a spark is produced. ganga screamed when she touched. (considering how she likes falling over in chairs that came as a surprise). even more surprising was how resh DIDN'T scream. hmm she has a higher threshold for pain than i expected. omnimax was screwed so bel and i decided to ditch our classes and do a little exploring of our own. cool we had a bomb of a time! except for that part where we were so engrossed in completing one of the exhibits and were sweating away (trying to put little pieces together), and one angmoh tourist, visibly amused, took pity on us and helped us complete it. and that part where we sat in the "make yourself mosaic"(???) photo booth and snapped a picture of ourselves on the machine. unfortunately the machine hung. and the worst part was, the screen was frozen at our picture since we were the last people to use it. which showed, to our humiliation, in full view of the public the picture of the culprits. us. we scurried away.
oh yeahh. softball camp. haha training was, if i dare say so myself, the pits. we made coach so bloody pissed off that he, erm, got damn bloody pissed off. well one good thing came out of it though. coach yanked the machine wire too hard and snapped it. so while he was fixing it back, me and xianhui had a sudden burst of inspiration and invented what was to be our greatest creation yet. the hongkie team. the hongkie talk. the hongkie dance. the hongkie song. it was retardation at its purest. now if this was any other year, we'd never dream of doing the hongkie dance, much less inventing it. xianhui thinks i'm a retarded influence on her. i think she's a bombastic influence on me. so we're quits yah? hmm haha the talking part at night was really great. the batchtalk. or rather, gossip. i dunno how to describe how wonderful the whole gossiping experience was. in the canteen everyone was so high! puisan said that we looked like drunkards in a coffeshop. ruoqi and i had made exciting plans to go onto the fields and talk, and maybe take up our positions and just feel how it was like standing under the stars in the cool night at the position we have worked so hard for, for the past few years. XIANHUI RUINED THAT MOMENT. she's such an ASS i tell you. i was all hyped up and ready to go onto the field when... "deboooorah. u do realise that there's no one covering catcher right." "huh. of course lah! unless someone volunteers to be the backstop of course!" "well, alright then. i guess that someone will be willing to be backstop although everyone else here has their positions." "huh?" "nothing. i mean, when all of us take our positions out there on the field, there will always be someone else covering u." "haha huh but there's no one!" "later when u turn around and fine someo..." "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" that little DEMON! just HAD to ruin my special moment! needless to say, our plan to talk on the field never materialised. and sorry i traumatized u so much during the telling of the scandal resh. i didn't know at that moment seriously! but looking back, i guess having another girl slide her hands up ur thighs (even if it was for purely chaste reasons) is not something to be relished. ohwell. we had SO MUCH fun in the canteen. and miss chow's quite the ... erm... softballer! (softballer meaning loud, know alot of scandals, let-slip-too-much gossip monger) whoooo. anyway we had to go back upstairs at 12 because SHE-WHO-SHALL-NOT-BE-NAMED decided that she had to take out her pms-ing on us again. not to be deterred, we trudged to the computer room next door and continued our bouts of gossip way past 5. and ruoqi's eyes weren't even half closed. wow.
but my eyes are. so goodnight peoples.
!deb.17-- rgssoftball'05. [no energy to kick asses. yawn]
retardebel 12:24 AM
Monday, March 21, 2005
haha i started this entry on march 16 at 11.15pm but didnt continue until now >.< sorry some parts may be a bit outdated...
lol deb. I should be the one who's utterly disgusted and appalled at your previous entry k... what with the glaring contradictions it contains -think raver bear- and are you sure chastity is the only word you can think of that rhymes with heavenly? -.-
anyway. softball camp was great! especially pleased with the little goodnight surprise that xh and i prepared for the rest of the team... heh heh. here goes..
xh and i: simply by looking at our trainings, it is extremely obvious that our fitness level is nowhere near where it is supposed to be. now that our nationals are just round the corner, we feel that it is imperative that we step up our fitness standards. so.. we came up with a new schedule for tmr...
rest of the team: -oh shit. shut up now. i don't want to listen anymore.-
xh and i: wake-up time for tmr will be 7.30am. brush your teeth change and be ready by 8am sharp. we will then start off warm ups with one round around the school, followed by another round that extends to shaw macs, where we will have our breakfast, like previous years. following that, we will jog back to school and immediately begin with block running, where we will run up one storey, run to the other end of the block, run up another storey, so on and so forth. after two sets of 4 storeys each, we will start on strengthening, where we have all the way till 1.30pm to complete 100 push-ups [note: we mean male push-ups. as you know, female push-ups are utterly useless]
rest of the team: -look of mortified horror-
xh and i: 200 sit ups and 150 squats. this is just the rough plan cos we haven't really finalised the rest of the activities, such as burpees, jumping jacks, etc. this is just to give you a rough idea. so.. since we have to wake up so early tmr, lights-out will be at 11.30pm instead of the originally intended 12.30am.
rest of the team: -looks of even more mortified horror-
xh and i: so... does anyone have anything to say before we end this?
sec fours: but... how on earth did you come up with the figures, like 200 sit-ups? it's insane it's really too much! we're gonna kill ourselves doing it!
xh and i: well, from the way we look at it, this is the only way to improve our abysmal level of fitness. so we shall proceed with the plan. anyone has anything more to say?
-more protests. can't really remember what they were. but by that time xh and i really couldn't control it any longer. it had been struggling and squirming inside us ever since the idea hatched in our brilliant brains during training. (haha okay fine not that brilliant) we had to say it... it was time.
xh and i: -perfectly serious and dao faces turning into sheepish grins- haha. we were just kidding. actually wake up time for tmr is 9.30am, be ready by 10am and we will walk to macs for breakfast. also, lights out will be at 2am:)
rest of the team: -cheers erupt, then..- wahlao! wth! bluff us! you suck! -throws stuff- blablabla...
xh and i: however, there will still be pt. except that it will be in the form of captain's ball and netball
rest of the team: -more cheering- but wth! you scared us! bluff us! we are going to taupok you! ...
haha wasn't the surprise cool? darn should've taupokked xh!! hmph.. hey xh we should go and audition at mediacorp i bet we can get in haha =P and so much for lights out at 2am... the sec 4s sat around in the canteen eating cup noodles, gobbling up miss chow's biscuits and puisan's yummy chewy bars haha sooo piggy!!! typical rg softballer:) crazy ruoqi wanted to sit on the field at 2am in the morning to talk -.- then at around 1+ we got some phone calls from the sec 3s, saying that the nitch (ahem, i'm being nice here.) just went up and chided all of the juniors for not keeping to the lights-out time, and that our schedule for camp was totally useless, blabla... urgh she totally spoils the mood for camp. but luckily at that time the sec 4s still had ms chow with us, so i was kind of hoping for a showdown between ms chow and nitch, but sadly she'd gone by the time we reached the humans centre :( anyway talked till 5am wow i'm pretty amazed at myself... and at ruoqi too! go ruoqi your staying-awake stamina has improved! now on the improve physical stamina! haha =P anyway found out lots and lots and lots of secrets... mwahahhaha
enough abt camp... src just ended yesterday. i'm suffering from withdrawal symptoms. this year's src was probably the most fun, most exciting, most memorable src i've ever had in 4 years... really had a ball of a time. literally. all the sweat, the tears, the err disfiguration.
it all started last saturday when we lost to gm... dunno what came over us but it was just so horrible. probably the suckiest match we'd ever played. AND i got disfigured >.< to make things worse, the disfiguration slowly turned into a "moustache" so i somehow became a husband or sth like that -.- after the match ruoqi and i totally ditched everyone and went to "do rs". yeah right. we went to the esplanade underpass to moan about how we were the ones who single-handedly caused the team to lose, how ruoqi was never going to pitch ever again, how i was never going to touch a bat anymore in my entire life... i dunno how ruoqi managed to convince me then that i didnt care about winning anymore. that i was going to walk away from softball from that point onwards. then slowly we sunk so deep into depression that the only thing we could find joy in was that at least we could dance better than those people at the esplanade underpass... then after that bout of sulking, we went back to watch the nanyang match. on coach's orders. as soon as we sat down, the immediate thing we started talking about was "ruoqi: hey bel the runner likes to jog back to 2 so during the nanyang match you quickly cover then i throw okay?" and "bel: hey ruoqi the pitcher's wind up is big but the pitch is actually very centre and nice to hit. nanyang game must whack okay?" -.- so much for giving up softball, not caring about winning, not touching a softball or a bat ever again... utter rubbish i tell you. haha come to think of it, we are so oxymoronic. i am the oxy ruoqi can be the moron:) don't think anything can ever make me give up softball, or make me stop caring about winning... i'm like on this relentless hot pursuit of that piece of gold biscuit... sometimes i'm scared of myself. but who cares. i want us to win! win win win!!!
can't stop thinking about how we whacked ftp back in the last inning on sunday... it was simply miraculous. it was like tie-breaker tie-breaker all the way, then suddenly in the last inning i dunno what came over us it felt as though we were running on steroids we just started whacking and whacking... every single one of us. that was one hell of a game man. who would expect us, the ones who played so horribly and lost to gm, the ones who let coach down and caused him a sleepless night and lots of heart pain, to advance to the grand finals? i remember on saturday night, i was praying fervently for God to create miracles on sunday... He answered. need i say more?
even though we didn't win the grand finals, we definitely put up a great fight. 2-1 just goes to show what a tight game it was... besides, God has a greater plan for all of us. even though we always lose to tk by one run in all the crucial matches, this year's nationals will be different. you'll see:)
it sucks to have to plunge right back into the world of books, worksheets, assignments and performance tasks when you've been running so high on softball. i was soooo soooooo soooo depressed today! withdrawal symptoms at its peak! i'm sorry but work simply pisses me off. i took like 6 hours to do one chinese compre?!?! urghhhhh. on a lighter note, HA deb told you cbox was better than Tagboard! yay
i just need to say that i love all you rg softballers to BITS. it was definitely the people that made this src so memorable. the jokes, the gossip, the hongkee dance... hahahah. come on everybody lets do the hongkee dance! heh heh. but really we are such a superb team (yeah i can feel it coming -- "but we're not being ego! it's a FACT!!!") and we totally rocked this src so let's go kick some ass at the nationals yah? :)
!bel.77-- rgssoftball'05 [raffles... kick some ass!]
retardebel 11:47 PM
Monday, March 14, 2005
bel that was embarrassing. appalling. disgraceful. disgusting. i mean, imagine my reaction when i saw that happy and colourful carebear appear on the screen when i visited our sadistic sorrowful blog. especially in this bleak period when the world is mourning man u's exit from the champions league. u shock me bel. (btw, i'm raver bear too! HIGH 5!)
i think lamb leg with italian herbs is absolutely GORGEOUS! i can't believe what i've been missing all my life! i'm in love with lamb leg. i'm so in love i think i shall write a short poem to express just how wonderful lamb leg in italian herb sauce is.
lamb leg, lamb leg, you taste so fine
lamb leg, lamb leg, i want to make you mine
lamb leg, lamb leg, you taste so heavenly
lamb leg, lamb leg, you make me wanna lose my chastity
if only they offered eating as a course in school man! i'd major in it! in my utopian school, eating, sleeping, watching movies and magazine reading would be compulsory subjects man! studying is SO optional lah. oh boy oh boy! if my school really existed the softballers would be the GREATEST teachers man! bel will definitely be the eating teacher and personally coach the students how to appreciate the finess of chocolate, and how to eat well but still look so good! who else can teach sleeping but DOPEY TAN RUOQI! she'd teach them how to have dreamless sleeps, dreamy sleeps, nightmares (i think xh would be the perfect tool to use here), how to sleep in your bed, how to sleep in class, how to sleep on the bus, how to sleep in the dustbin, how to sleep ON THE FIELD DURING A MATCH, how to wake up one hour late for trainings etc. oh yeah. all these she knows! graham dear can take the movie-watching students. he's sooooo well-versed in this man (well of course he's had lots of practise!). he'll teach them how to laugh at appropriate times and pitches, what intensity the level of crying should be, how loud the screams should be, how loudly to snore (during boring ones), at what rate consummation of the popcorn should take place at, what flavour popcorn for what type of movie, or would nachos or a hotdog be better... oh i like my school already! i, Dr Deborah Lee, phd in eight-days analysis, will take it upon myself to train these youngsters in the art of magazine reading. of course, they will start with the shallow, easy-to-read kids company and elle magazine. then they'll move on to the higher level, but equally depthless government controlled magazines like TIMES, NEWSWEEK and PRIME. thereafter comes home&decor, lime, smash hits, cosmopolitan and EPL week. only if they are able to handle the maturity of these renowned magazines will they then be able to reach the highest degree of the magazine reading course. the one, the only, the immaculate, the magazine that NEVER fails... EIGHTDAYS. but few reach this level so... dream on. oh don't worry resh, i'll allocate a little corner near the storeroom for you to teach studying. and gee i promise i'll let u OVERsee (or rather UNDERsee) disciplinary issues ok? ok. bulls***. my utopian school doesn't exist. back to the books people!
today was FUNNY. bel and i went to watch hitch after a nice nap at ruoqi's. hitch was hilarious. the malay woman next to us was hilarious. bel and i saw B___F___ at plaza sing. bel REFUSED to go within a 25m radius of B___F___. B___F___ was enamoured with his takopachi and couldn't take his eyes off it. B___F___ devoured poor takopachi. B___F___ got up after devouring poor takopachi. bel and i stalked poor takopachi. no, wait, i meant we stalked B___F___ to see if he was going to meet B___F___. he didn't.
SRC sucked so far. the level of suckation is just unbelievable. i dun wanna talk about unhappy stuff. which means i can't blog about SRC, schoolwork, projects and clement. did i say clems? oops. sorry but u really really SUCK! (but i still love you don't worry). so i shall blog about happy stuff. softball camp tmr! can't wait to get our sorry asses onto the field again. we really let coach down and we need to buck up. BIG TIME. we shall taupok xianhui during camp tmr. (no resh, i daresay u taupokking me is totally out of YOUR question)... yay i can't wait. bye. (did that sound enthusiastic enough?)
!deb.17-- rgssoftball'05. [we kicked our own asses...
retardebel 11:26 PM
Raver Bear
Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
brought to you by
bel
retardebel 9:06 PM
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
bel i just came up with a new blogging philosophy to encourage young spunky teenyboppers like us to blog more to release our inner, more mature souls. it is a statement of such profoundness and serenity that i myself can hardly understand the true depth of my philosophy. ok so here goes:
blogging is good
blogging is fun
blogging's like food
eaten by everyone
u see! i told u it was unfathomable. ah! the beauty of poetry. i can already hear misschow's voice ringing in my head "i TOLD u to take lit! now look how atrocious ur poetry has become!" HAHA. can still remember her sitting all pretty during newtown match perched under her quaint little umbrella saying that to me, with mock glare in her "snow queen eyes" (as she likes to call her peepers). she was appalled at my little "liping! nice hitting! cool stealing! but don't go creeping!" cheer. so i was like "but it rhymes what!" as she was about to make an indignant comeback, her umbrella was blown upside down by the wind! HAHA. as in, urgh i dunno how to explain it but just imagine misschow holding on to her umbrella handle for dear life while the top of the umbrella's overturned. haha. ok fine it's hard to describe but it was absolutely amusing at that time.
a friend of mine (very VERY close friend, so close she's almost like my twin) once asked me "wad's your definition of a family?" [background info: we were talking about the english essay test on family]
me: "as in MY definiton?"
she: yes, YOUR personal definition
me: dunno. probably the conventional mum, dad, 2.4 children i guess. wad's yours?
she: i'm not sure. but to me, family are people u can confide in, u feel safe and comfortable around. a place where u know and u feel that u belong in, that u feel secure and protected. people who will always support u and will be there for you no matter what. to me, the softballers (our batch) are my like family. yuo guys are my family.
ruoqi (twin), i couldn't agree with you more! i really couldn't and thank you so much for expressing so simply what i've been wanting to tell the softballers for so long. you guys are MY family. i think ruoqi's such an inspiration. i didn't know she had it in her man! as in, she usually inspires through her actions and sets an exemplary example for all of us to follow on the field, but i never knew that she was such a great oratory inspire-er! anyone who knows her would know that she's a man (or rather, woman) of few words (or rather, mixed up, badly spelt words). so it was really amazing to hear such inspirational thoughts coming from her. they were simple, but they hit hard (which i hope WE will tmr). hmm let me recall some of the more memorable ones.
rq: (as usual) do u think we can make it?
me: dunno.
rq: i think that if we really focus, put our minds in it, perform like we do in training, we can beat any team. (any team, meaning team in the b div girls group)
me: ha. ha. we're no the sec 4 batch you know! (sec 4 batch meaning last year's ri sec 4 batch who're really really pro. practically invincible)
rq: you know coach always said that it was their effort that made them who they are today, and the motivation in waiting four years to beat damai that inpired them right? [background info: coach, an ardent admire of the ex ri sec4 batch a.k.a. ivan's batch, always tells us how great they are, what a wonderful team they are... how ri b div lost to damai (how many?) years in a row and how determined they were to make last year their year blahblah... how they waited four years, how they trained so hard for four years to be duly rewarded by defeating their arch nemesis in the finals blahblahblah.]
me: uh-huh.
rq: well, we've waited longer.
me: huh?
rq: they waited four years for their moment. we've waited a lifetime for ours.
whoa. if u think of it, that's exactly how we feel. there's no other batch as special as ours and this time (well, for now at least) i mean it. i know a lifetime may seem abit exaggerated but ask any rg sec4 softballer out there and they'd tell you that at times as critical as these, as meaningful as these, this is exactly how you feel. you want to die fighting for the team. and a lifetime is too short for us to play together. and that night i went on msn, and saw ruoqi's nick. [background info: some crescent girl, for reasons unfathomable, but probably coz of our school's rep, wrote on her blog that they were going to trash the 'proud ppl' (obviously referring to us). we were quite HUH since we dun know why on earth she would write that since the only pride present in us is the pride we feel towards our teammates.] so anyway, ruoqi's nick was
"!roq.31-- rgssoftball'05. proud people? i'll give you 'proud people'!"
WHAM. BAM. take that 'you'! no one and i mean NO ONE would like to get on ruoqi's bad side. she'll pitch the crap outta you lah. anyway just wanted to shoutout to ruoqi and the rest of the team how proud i am of you. although we haven't been playing with the spirit typical of a rafflesian, i know we'll play our hearts out when it matters.
today's SS lesson was SO FREAKING FUNNY! we haven't had a lesson THIS retarded in a long looong time (discounting yang's physics lessons of course). purnima was the bomb man. the BOMB. and azahar (teacher), unfortunately, was the victim. it goes like this u see. purnima, for some reason unknown to the rest of us sane girls, has this humungous crush on azahar. she prints out his picture from the net and displays it on her desk during SS lessons. azahar obviously, knows about the little 'thang' poon has for him. but acts like he has no clue at all. today was the day when he can hide no more. coz he wanted to log onto the class's account on the computer to download the ss notes for us. and he had to screen in on the projector too so that we all could see. however, the first folder that appeared on the desktop when he logged on was the "Purnima loves azahar group" folder. HAHA. he was obviously mortified (secretly delighted, i might add as my bimbo instincts kick into full mode) and immediately logged off pretending that he didn't know how to do it. by this time the class was infected with laughter. my sides were aching man. ACHING. so amdis volunteered to do it and he let her handle the computer as he walked to the back of the classroom asking, "why are u guys laughing? what's so funny? tell me!" yahright. his attempt at pretense is soooo falsified lah. i bet even the densest girl in class (oh wait, that's me) could see through it man! so amdis logged on to the class account again, and to the amusement of the class, decided to save the documents in the "Purnima loves azahar group" folder. well, u see, "Purnima loves azahar group" is the name of an ACTUAL biology group, so the documents saved in the folder were mostly (thank god!) about bio. unfortunately, the topic at that time was (yes you got it right) sexual reproduction. and each group had to do a contraceptive method. purnima's group did on condoms. so you can imagine the intensity of the explosion of laughter from the class when amdis opened the "purnima loves azahar group" folder and lo and behold the first item in the folder was their bio powerpoint, which they had intelligently named "condoms! whoolala!" HAHAHAHAHA. azahar again, tried to hide behind a mask of innocence and oblivion and was trying SO HARD to keep in his laughter (i could tell i could tell!) the class was laughing SO HARD when suddenly this lone ranger's laughter that was resounding above the rest of the class's turned into a shriek of horror. (think ganga laughing then... "hahahahAHAHAhahahAHAHAA...ARHHHHHHHH! BOOM!") yes, ganga had fallen backwards on her chair. IT WAS SO BLOODY FUNNY THAT MY SALIVA JUST KEPT FLOWING FROM MY OPEN MOUTH! and the softballers KNOW how wide my mouth can open. but anyway IT WAS SO BLOODY BLOODY BLOODY FUNNY! even azahar couldn't control anymore and burst out in a fit of laughter. i've never seen him laugh so madly in his life! he did attempt to do his job as a responsible teacher and wanted to help ganga up, but he had taken no more than two steps towards her before erupting into a fit of giggles again. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. darn it was the funniest scene i have ever seen! that incident probably put him on a roll and the crazy FUNNY side of him suddenly emerged. we were supposed to be doing class discussions but tara and i were shouting across the room to each other discussing chelsea and man u and the championsleague. azahar was probably listening in to our extremely heated argument becuase suddenly he said "CLASS! your attention please." the class immediately quietened down, expecting words of advice on social studies or something. when he continued "i think we should observe a minute's of silence now..... (long pause)... becuase man u lost." tara and i were shrieking with laughter man! HAHA! and tara was like "haha! you got us there man blahblahblah (we continue rambling about her beloved chelsea and my beloved man u-but-not-beloved-old-hag-fergurson)" when suddenly he interrupts the class again. "hey class. CLASS! LISTEN! we need to observe another minute of silence... (another long pause. he looked so serious this time we thought he was for real!)... because chelsea won." if the entire class were gangas, i tell you, the class below us would be wondering what was going on what with the sound of chairs and humans hitting the floor above them. but thank goodness we knew better than to laugh tilting back in our chairs! oh! oh! oh! and he was talking about tourism in countries and stuff, like why does saudi arabia have such a huge tourism industry (8 million a year) even though they wer enot so developed blahblahblah. so the class chipped in and gave our two cents worth.
someone: because saudi arabia has alot of oil?
azahar: i'm sure tourists would go to saudi arabia to look at oil oozing out from the (?i dunno what's that word he used) -cue for class to erupt into yet another volcanic bout of laughter-
someoneelse: for the sand and water!
azahar: which they can't find anywhere else but saudi arabia. -laugh again-
christine: for the sand water and SUN!
quek: yeahh.. to suntan! -saliva inducing laughter again-
azahar: -.- (probably thinking "girls! gawd what did i do to deserve this?!")
nava: for pilgrimages?
azahar: ^-^ YES! for pilgrimages (blahblahblah... goes on to talk about pilgrimages and stuff, then suddenly went veryVERY off tangent) i went for a mini pilgrimage once -class sits up. ooh this should be interesting- (he takes a deep breath in and looks up, as though recollecting that moment of faith and discovery in his life. after a long pause he finally speaks again.) to old trafford. [background info: old trafford is man u's stadium] it was probably one of the best moments of my life. when i saw the stadium i just knelt down in front of it and lifted my hands. [background info: for ur info, azahar's not an ugly ol' middle aged junkie. he's quite a well-learned respectable, not-so-bad-looking teacher.] then i went into the stadium (pauses AGAIN, then speaks in a shaky voice, which my bimbo isntincts tell me was real. NUTCASE!) and i knelt on the grass and kissed the ground! i wanted to pluck a blade of grass to bring back but i didn't want to spoil the beauty of the pitch! what if the players blahblahblahblahblah... then i went into the dressing room and saw where peter schmiechel sat and where eric cantona sat (starts twitching like a boy being offered candy) AND I SAT IN ALEX FERGURSON'S CHAIR. (goes on to blab about how that was the moment in his life and how wonderful it felt and how this mini pilgrimage blahblahblah... then suddenly jerks back into teacher mode) so anyway, i think that next time if u guys are interested, you can set up an agency providing pilgrimages to various football stadiums in the world... the san siro... nou camp... bernabeau... wembley... i'm sure you'll get alot of customers!
that guy is a true blue football nutcase i tell you! AND I LIKE THAT. haha. so we had to do a term one evaluation form today and one of the questions was "do you find social studies lessons interesting? (obviously poon ticked YES!) and why?" poon wrote: because of you.
kae gotta go pack my stuff for the match tmr lest i end up wearing another teacher's big stuffy suffocating shirt under my jersey or have to beg my driver to bring me my glove one hour before the match again. good grief.
!deb.17-- rgssoftball'05. my teammates are the sisters god forgot to give me]
LET'S GO RAFFLES! KICK SOME ASS!
retardebel 11:12 PM
Monday, March 07, 2005
damn. i just looked back at my latest entry and realised how angsty and retarded it was. it's so ridiculously drama-mama. i was just ranting and raving without any direction at all. and most of the things i wrote either don't connect or contradict. although i mean every single bit of it. sigh you won't understand lah. but hell no, i won't delete it! it took me a long time to type out lorh. deborah lee doesn't waste time for nothing.
retardebel 1:11 AM
Sunday, March 06, 2005
shh bel shh! our deepest darkest secret. deeper than the pacific ocean. darker than erm... well, your skin colour. more secret than my temporarily defunct crush on mr tall, dark and fill in the blank. (oh btw for all those who do not already know, i've shifted from the state of no-blogging peace to that of anti-crushing virginial peace. soothes the mind and soul, but not the heart. duh)...
anyway, taking the cue from resh and xh, i've decided to do a -gasp!- serious entry. as we draw nearer and nearer to a testing period of self-discovery in our softball careers (yah, like we're professionals liddat) that will enable us to finally unravel the truth (can we make it?), the flippant and superficial attitude that i have always used as an approach in my entries is downright vulgar. and i mean it. i know when to get serious and when a little humour in our monotonous lives is needed (yes resh. situational awareness has taken over me!) and contrary to popular belief, i'm not made entirely out of air and fluff you know (probably only about 87% of my composition). and this is serious time. i'm not kidding. judgement day is coming and we're still showing no signs of improvement! many a time we think that we're getting better, that we can make it, grab back that golden thing we so narrowly lost in 2003. but we're not. we always think that we're that special batch. the one that can turn everything around. the batch that will be revered and admired. that batch that will leave behind a legacy. well, newsflash: every batch thinks that way. how about this for a change: what would it feel like to break rgs's proud tradition of winning the zone championships every season for the past few years? why does everyone keep saying the zones are not important? it is to us. i dunno what's going wrong. a win is still a win, yes. but the manner of our wins is hardly anything to rejoice about. it's not like we don't train enough. it's not like we're not bonded. not like we're not committed towards training. not like we're the first batch in years that went within sniffing distance of the nationals title. not like we're not willing to die fighting for each other on the field... but something's wrong and i dunno what it is! what's most agonizing is that we love each other so so so much and if we don't make it again this year, nothing will be able to express the heartbreak. a second time. i want to win for you. i want to throw them out for you. i want to whack the balls far for you. i want to fight for you. i want to die for you. i want to kickass for you. i love you. all of you. but when i step into the diamond, i just freeze. tapping balls and lobbing throws are so not my thing. i know i've let you down again and again and yet you still encourage me, make me feel like i'm doing fine. fact is, if i can't contribute i'm depriving someone of a place in the starting line up. and i don't want to. during training everything is cool. everything's beautiful. in the game it's different. why is it different? why am i different? great. now i've taken to talking to myself a la resh and ruoqi. i know i seem cheerful and act like everything is normal. act. but inside the turmoil of emotions running through me is suffocating. the rope around my neck is tightening gradually and i dunno what to do- the superficiality of my cl**ue in school. how i'm slowly drifting from my lord. that CRAP chinese test. conflicts in the family. and most of all, my inability to produce form during matches. it makes me so sad. =( how now brown cow? [stop moo-ing ruoqi!]
thanks ruoqi resh and karwei. heart-to-heart-ing on that little straw mat under the dark sky looking up at that lone star in the gorgeous greens of kallang was really inspiring. it's only with my family and with the softballers that i can find joy and laughter so pure. it helped me take a step closer to answering some of the burning questions i've been asking myself ever since my plunge into self-doubt and the mildest of depressions. maybe i've been focusing on the wrong thing all the time. is winning the gold everything? of course it is to me! but i've concentrated all my energy towards achieving that one goal that i've totally neglected everything else that is of importance. i've forgotten that in achieving a goal so big, little steps have to be taken. i guess i've been trying to leap up those steps to reach the top faster. missing those little but significant ones on the way. burning my energy furiously to no avail. because in the end, i slip and fall back down again. and this time the climb to the top is fraught with more difficulty than the last time. but it's okay. this time i shall try again. i know that i can't do it alone, and i thank my lucky stars (actually only lone but bright star that ruoqi spotted tonight) that i have a team as wonderful as this one. we shall climb the stairway to heaven together, taking small but important steps, helping each other along the way. this time we will make sure we reach there, enjoying the scenery along the way. and i know that when we do, it'll not be that golden thing that will be waiting for us, but something far more significant, far more important, something that we can treasure and that will last for a lifetime, even when this chapter of our life stories closes and a new one opens. because whichever chapter, i know i want you to be written into it. our friendship is too precious to lose. no, not our friendship. sisterhood. every moment spent with you... is a moment i'll treasure.
for now, we can take those small steps on tuesday and thursday. but we have to help each other. support each other. cheer each other on. believe in each other. reach for that dream. and however the outcome, i just want you guys to know how proud i am of your determination and dedication. we might not get to lift that golden thing in the end, but that is secondary. coz we know that we are champions, winners in our own rights.
having said that, coach wants 6 trophies this year. AND I DON'T WANT US TO BE THE ONLY ONES TO FAIL HIM!!! how malu would that be right? i meant what i said above, but we have to have to have to have to absolutely HAVE TO win. goodness!
---------------------------------------------------------
!deb.17-- rgssoftball'o5. if you can't run, fly.
retardebel 11:42 PM
Friday, March 04, 2005
it's been donkey eons since i last blogged. and deb, i choose to believe that we were in a state of no-blogging peace... yknow, to ease the mind and nerves. no? maybe soon we should start going on a state of no-gl... (ahem) peace haha the warnings are starting to come a tad too often!
this week has been an incredibly busy and tiring week but actually i'm glad it was. cos it really helped me take my mind off certain things so yeah now i've moved on and i'm happy just the way it is :)
first off there was chinese test to worry about. everyone was going on and on abt how they were ONLY on their SECOND round of revision when i hadn't even started >.< together ="P">CHUGGING! haha. you owe us all subway cookies for all the heart attacks you caused us today! and deb! sorry i cursed you to cry! the helmet was really too shiny! but nice catching and playing okay? don't be so paranoid! jem!!! nice throw to two when miaomiao was there! hopefully by nationals we'll have time to make a double play! :) and beautiful stylish stop and throw to one! congratulations you've managed to incorporate dance into softball... heh ;) nice stopping ellen! that was one beautiful throw to one man! and don't worry about the running... next time remember hit first then run fast then step on the orange base.
don't know if genevieve christin nicola or puff read this... but splendid-fantastic-spectacular-superb catch gen!!! i remember myself watching the ball sail through the air, with the fluffy white clouds dotting the cornflower blue sky (okay shuddup) in awe and thinking to myself "oh darn it. this is a goner." and the next thing i knew, i saw gen and chris making a beeline for the ball (with the cornflower blue sky still in the back ground... come to think of it. it was quite picturesque. okay SHUDDUP bel.) and then! out of nowhere, gen's arm suddenly extended and the ball landed nicely in her shiny black glove :) s-u-p-e-r-b catch so keep it up k gen? :) nice hitting christin and nicola! how come you two are so strong? pass some of your strength to me haha. keep up the good hitting! and running! i'm proud to have a Terminator 4 in my team :) and rest that pulled muscle of yours k nicola? i know your name isn't as nice as that of your two sisters (haha) but thats no reason to not rest! get well soon k? great playing today :) xianhui! don't be too stressed about your ankle k? i know it's frustrating and all, and i really want you to play for the crescent game and src too.. will be praying for you so just trust God to heal it k? :)last but not least, powerpuff!!! i think you're most suited to be buttercup. haha. you're so power so when you're in the batter's box, just relax and do your thing and before you know it, you'd have a hit a homerun. seriously. so go puff!!! but. you are still more loser than me :)
k it's getting really late and there's founder's day tmr. which means waking up early. BLEH -.- it's getting better and better everyday.. i'm not so affected anymore. but sometimes i just can't help but think about it. i dunno what's up with me. it's so much better this way it has to be this way. even if it didnt happen now it'd have happened sooner or later. yet i can't help brooding over it. sigh. dear annabel, please get a life and stop brooding over it. there are more important things in life.
bel
retardebel 11:52 PM