Thursday, March 24, 2005
have u ever had THAT feeling? like u really regret doing/not doing something. like u're slowly sinking into the abyss and there's no way out. like u wish u could turn back time so that u can put it right again. like... like... u want to hide from the world in that little corner of yours. like u reallyreallyREALLY regret doing/not doing something. well that's how i'm feeling right now. WHY DIDN'T I PUT SUNBLOCK?!!! now i'm burnt. now i'm peeling. now i'm suffering. i saw it coming i really did. i had 3 years of experience! every year during the aftermath of src, i return a lobster. a cooked lobster at that. a fresh, bright red one. and every year i swear to put sunblock the next year. but do i ever listen? NOOOO. now then i regret. too late ain't it. go on xianhui, laugh at me. mock me. stick your hand down my throat and dig out every ounce of dignity i have. for i am sunburnt.
but that's not the worst part. scorching sun, i can stand. humiliation of being chowtah, i can stand. src is over... now that's the most heartwrenching part. honest to goodness, this was the bestest src i've ever had. and it's so special because my teammates made it so. the only memories i have of the previous years' src are erm... tearing (due to the reflection of bat into my eyes), crying (again due to reflection), and more crying (this time coz ruoqi bullied me). but this year's src. now this is what i call ultimate. coach was the bomb. teammates were the bombs. matches were potential bombs. and i didn't even cry! the retarded one down, two down steps adapted from farish and personalized by xh and me... now that's something to remember. the hongkie dance and hongkie song again created by xh and me... now that's something that everyone will definitely remember. (i dun care resh and ellen. u guys better bloody well do it!) the stories coach told us under the setting sun. yes, it will be remembered. the pain in coach's voice when he told us that he couldn't sleep coz we lost. u don't remember, u die. his quiet joy and pride at seeing us come from behind time and again to take the game. now that's something very rememberable. those games where we never gave up when we were down, and played with hearts of true rafflesians. how could we not remember. the silver. rather, the gold we lost by one run. how we really needed coach to be there to guide us, but he couldn't. the gold we lost fighting on our own. hmm, do i have a choice but to remember?
seeing ruoqi slam the strikes in one by one, giving the other teams no chance. i will remember.
seeing resh stretch, bend, fold, split, wadeva, just to get that wild throw. i will remember.
seeing bel never give up, making those nice clean stops. i will remember.
seeing jem move on the field with such grace and elegance, making those wonderful stops throws and tags. i will remember.
seeing ellen play with the courage of a panther wherever she's put and getting those bunters out. i will remember.
seeing nicola step up to the task when we really needed her to. i will remember.
seeing christin inspire all of us when we were down, starting the ball flying. i will remember.
seeing xianhui hobble about on that ankle and yet never failing to catch that odd flyball or cover that overthrow. i will remember.
seeing (or rather, hearing) gee taunting on the field, catching those flyballs, playing like a little chilli padi. i will remember.
seeing gen running like the wind in leftfield (and hearing that "WRONG SIDE OF THE FIEEEELD BATTER!"). i WILL remember.
the relentless support the juniors lent us. i will remember.
how coach never at any time gave up on us (his team is the BEST -with thumbs up sign- remember?). yes i remember!
our seniors cheering their hearts out for us and coming down to support matches. i will remember.
how special this src is. i will remember.
but i won't harp on it. no i won't. it's over man. as much as ruoqi resh xh bel gee and i, taking teeny bites to prolong our last dinner at foodjunction, sitting on the mrt steps pretending like everything's new and exciting (like the stars we suddenly discovered on the ceiling), reliving the matches as though we were gonna come back to src as a team again, try to deceive ourselves, src is over. our last src as rgs softballers is over. our last src as a team, as a batch is over. this is probably the last src we'll play together. and it sucks real bad. the worst part is, you don't feel the full impact of it until it's over. u wish u had treasured that very last inning we played together. u wish u had treasured the feeling of running on the well-maintained grass. u wish u had stayed back to watch the sun set on the field, on the theatre of our dreams. so many thing u wish u had done but will now never get the chance to do. i guess it's the same for everything else this year. our last founder's day. our last teacher's day. our last racial harmony day. our last shot at winning the title... it's gonna be so horrible to leave rgs. it's not even halfway through the year and i'm missing it already. the only comfort is that at least we know where we'll be going after we leave. not that where we're going is anything to be comforted about.
oh this is so serious! so un-deborah! oh yah before i move on, i would like to recommend a blog. poonie's blog. i'm sure by now everyone has heard a thing or two about the escapades of poonie. well her blog is equally as entertaining. whenever u feel sad or lonely or frustrated or down, go read poonie's blog. it's such a comfort to know that there's someone else out there who has even less of a life than you do.
today was whoolala! science centre trip was so much more fun than i had expected. this morning i was dreaming of being mrs clay aiken when i was rudely awoken by the vibration of my handphone. and nothing more rudely awakes than reshvinderkaur. geez. hearing her piercing voice, PIERCING voice through the receiver: "DEB!!!!! OMIGOSH DO U KNOW WAD TIIIIME IT ISSSSS?! SEVEEEEN! wake up NOOOOOOOWWWW! AAAAAHHHH!" goodness. i woke up from my beautiful dream and walked straight into a nightmare. so anyhow i jumped out of bed, bathed, brushed my teeth, packed my bag, looked for my softball glove, extorted money from my parents and hopped onto the mrt. and i still reached the science centre way before resh (who was already out of my house when she decided to interrupt me during my dream dinner date with clay). hmm. so the first thing we had was a talk on natural disasters/phenomena/occurences. it was helluva interesting. i got a nice science centre badge coz i shouted "earthquakes!" when they were asking for examples of forces of nature. i felt pretty dandy about it. resh was jealous coz she wanted a science centre badge too. after that we had free time, which me quek sinyee christine charissa nicole and kums decided to more wisely spend examining the effects of macdonalds breakfast going down our tummies instead of viewing the exhibits. needless to say we had a good fulfilling humourous talk about (with nicole there, what else) the red guy. after that we headed over to the lesson on energy. the demonstrations were SO AMAZING! my goodness! electricity is the IN THING man! sadly i didn't get to see the little spark produced by the hand generator because bernice conveniently chose that time to sms me with the most headline worthy news: she's in a****'s og. wooooow. so i was so happy for her that i forgot to focus on the area below the coil where the spark was supposed to be produced. anyhow i volunteered resh for one of the experiments. i was SHOUTING for her across the room to volunteer for the human generator experiment because you can see the person's hair stand. but that stupiud pok refused and nicole was demonstrated on anyway. u could really see her hair STAND man. sigh how much better would it have been if resh had gone man! she could've untied her plait and vavavooom! now that's a hair-raising sight i'd love to see. so i volunteered her for the other experiment where two students had to touch the human generator student e.t.-esque and see if a spark is produced. ganga screamed when she touched. (considering how she likes falling over in chairs that came as a surprise). even more surprising was how resh DIDN'T scream. hmm she has a higher threshold for pain than i expected. omnimax was screwed so bel and i decided to ditch our classes and do a little exploring of our own. cool we had a bomb of a time! except for that part where we were so engrossed in completing one of the exhibits and were sweating away (trying to put little pieces together), and one angmoh tourist, visibly amused, took pity on us and helped us complete it. and that part where we sat in the "make yourself mosaic"(???) photo booth and snapped a picture of ourselves on the machine. unfortunately the machine hung. and the worst part was, the screen was frozen at our picture since we were the last people to use it. which showed, to our humiliation, in full view of the public the picture of the culprits. us. we scurried away.
oh yeahh. softball camp. haha training was, if i dare say so myself, the pits. we made coach so bloody pissed off that he, erm, got damn bloody pissed off. well one good thing came out of it though. coach yanked the machine wire too hard and snapped it. so while he was fixing it back, me and xianhui had a sudden burst of inspiration and invented what was to be our greatest creation yet. the hongkie team. the hongkie talk. the hongkie dance. the hongkie song. it was retardation at its purest. now if this was any other year, we'd never dream of doing the hongkie dance, much less inventing it. xianhui thinks i'm a retarded influence on her. i think she's a bombastic influence on me. so we're quits yah? hmm haha the talking part at night was really great. the batchtalk. or rather, gossip. i dunno how to describe how wonderful the whole gossiping experience was. in the canteen everyone was so high! puisan said that we looked like drunkards in a coffeshop. ruoqi and i had made exciting plans to go onto the fields and talk, and maybe take up our positions and just feel how it was like standing under the stars in the cool night at the position we have worked so hard for, for the past few years. XIANHUI RUINED THAT MOMENT. she's such an ASS i tell you. i was all hyped up and ready to go onto the field when... "deboooorah. u do realise that there's no one covering catcher right." "huh. of course lah! unless someone volunteers to be the backstop of course!" "well, alright then. i guess that someone will be willing to be backstop although everyone else here has their positions." "huh?" "nothing. i mean, when all of us take our positions out there on the field, there will always be someone else covering u." "haha huh but there's no one!" "later when u turn around and fine someo..." "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" that little DEMON! just HAD to ruin my special moment! needless to say, our plan to talk on the field never materialised. and sorry i traumatized u so much during the telling of the scandal resh. i didn't know at that moment seriously! but looking back, i guess having another girl slide her hands up ur thighs (even if it was for purely chaste reasons) is not something to be relished. ohwell. we had SO MUCH fun in the canteen. and miss chow's quite the ... erm... softballer! (softballer meaning loud, know alot of scandals, let-slip-too-much gossip monger) whoooo. anyway we had to go back upstairs at 12 because SHE-WHO-SHALL-NOT-BE-NAMED decided that she had to take out her pms-ing on us again. not to be deterred, we trudged to the computer room next door and continued our bouts of gossip way past 5. and ruoqi's eyes weren't even half closed. wow.
but my eyes are. so goodnight peoples.
!deb.17-- rgssoftball'05. [no energy to kick asses. yawn]
retardebel 12:24 AM